seiryoku no musume-san

Ahh yes, the influence of women.

This week has been rather painful and frustrating. I had a thing cut out of my back (not pleasant) and am now stitched up across my spine with four stitches. Unfortunately the position of the incision requires me to not slouch, lift anything, bend over, or raise my arms too high; A situation that has caused me considerable annoyance. It's not until you've had your movements restricted by something like this that you realise how many things stretch the skin on your back.

The only good thing that came out of this is the opportunity to say (with good reason for a change) "Sorry, I can't do the ironing/bring in the washing/load/unload the dishwasher. Bugger.".

^_^

At any rate, the title of this blog entry is something to do with a ponderance I've been pondering during my recent immobility. I've been thinking about women, and not about the usual thing one might think about women (yes, I mean you, you dirty little boy!!! No, no, no. You know what you've been thinking when I said that thing about thinking. Pervert.).

My ponderings have been centered around why I find certain kind of women attractive and why I don't find other kinds of women attractive. Indeed, it is often the case that I find a certain woman attractive while my friends think I'm insanes because they find this other kind of woman "hot". Take, for example, the fine teen film that is "10 Things I Hate About You".

When I watch this film I think "Damn, that Larisa Oleynik is fine. No, I mean it. She looks like the kind of girl I could take home to meet my parents and they wouldn't complain. Lousy parents. Arrrrgghhhh!!! Why do you torment me so????? ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!".

My friends, on the other hand, think "I would like to boink Julia Stiles. Hell yeah. Who's yo daddy, beeyotch??!?!". This proves that my friends are 'tards. Not really. Only joking.

Now the same kind of thing goes for real flesh-and-blood women that I would actually have a chance of being in the same hemisphere with : I don't find the idealised "Blond Bombshell" that attractive. Whether that's from some internal lazyness of not wanting to try and compete with the hormone fuelled masses for said "Blondeshell" (See? I am so a writer! Creating new words and everything!!) or alternatively it could just be that some girls try too hard, cross the line and end up looking like skanky garbage. Personally, I think it's the second option - it's a lot easier to accept that the problem lies with everyone else.

At any rate I think that I have a bad tendency to 'fall' for girls who resemble my perceptions of my favourite anime characters. Very bad I know. Not in any physical way or anything (yes, Kinomoto Sakura is 11, but that's just sick okay? Go get some serious psych help, freak!), but just my idealised versions of the qualities that these characters possess. Now, considering that my favourite genre of anime and manga is shoujo and the characters in thise genre are already the idealised version of whatever stereotype they are, we have a problem. Or rather I have a problem with an idealised version of an idealised version of a stereotype.

However, now that I am aware of this I can ignore anything from my personality that would cause me to become romantically interested in someone that I would actually like and instead follow what the media tell me and become infatuated with a big bosomed blonde bombshell and live in a shallow relationship based on no actual attraction at all.

Just like every other "modern" relationship.

Bugger that!!! I'll just become a monk instead and keep on buyng my Marmalade Boy and Card Captor Sakura and keep living my bishoujo dream. Who knows. Maybe I'll bump into some girl at the comic shop who has a bishounen fixation.

Match made in heaven, ne?

Totoro

I'd relegated myself to purchasing the Japanese DVD release of Tonari no Totoro, when I chanced across a report on the Nausicaa.net Miyazaki Page about it's availability as a region 1 DVD in December. Cool.

While there, however, I came across this little piece of expository crap. Now, I can sound as pretentious and pretend to enjoy anime for it's "technical production value and cultural relevance to one of the most intriguing nations on earth", but this line just blew me sideways.


This is an excellent childhood story unrivaled by any since "Peter Pan". The plot involves Satsuke, a girl on the cusp of womanhood, moving into the country with her father and younger sister Mei, where she discovers a child's realm of wonder and make-believe running in parallel to the adults' mundane everyday existence.


Now, that's only a little bit of it, but can anyone else see this guy as being just a little bit of an arse? "Cusp of womanhood" anyone? I suppose he was that one guy who had to move his backpack onto his lap when they screened it at his local anime club. What with all that hot family bathing action. Damn.

At any rate I can't really find any more info on the region 1 release, so if it turns out to be crap, then I'll just get the Japanese one anyway.

Sour Lemons

WARNING : this blog entry contains nasty type themes and almost explicit sex between fictional characters. it's all a parody though, ^_^

I think I've probably looked at about all there is to look at on the net. I've been using the internet for 7 years now. Since you could first get internet access outside of a university here in Australia. And, I think I've seen everything there is to see; that is everything there is to see without a credit card and a box of tissues. Hence the beginning of this post.



On Thu, 19 Sep 2002, 9:33 PM, Shoujo said :

i've run out of things to do on the internet!!!

On Thu, 19 Sep 2002, 9:34 PM, Tigris said :

Go read CCS [Card Captor Sakura] fanfic. Or something. Or go on IRC. Or put a JPOP cd on and "practice" DDR %]

On Thu, 19 Sep 2002, 9:36 PM, Shoujo said :

every CCS fanfic that i've ever seen (and never read) all start off with NB: This is completely out of character or
WARNING : contains (yukito/touya) or (tomoyo/sakura) or (sakura/lee) (yuri/yaoi)

On Thu, 19 Sep 2002, 9:47 PM, Shoujo said :

Touya no shinjitsu no kimochi (Touya's True Feelings) (59K) - [mm][yaoi][rom][oral][anal]

Somehow I think that there is something even more heinous to CCS than the butchered rape that is that dub...

We should kill them. Kill them before the spread.

Denial Of Service attacks to every fanfic archive that has lemons



So as you can see I am very bored, therefore I've decided to write the ultimate "Lemon" Fanfic. For those of you not in the know, "Lemon" is a polite way of saying "Porn involving fictional characters from a japanese cartoon series", which lets other anime fanfiction writers know that you're the one who keeps requesting 'La Blue Girl' and 'Ninja Scroll' at the local Anime Club/Society.

---

Wourlds Aprat

By Sailor Sakura : 6th Child

NB : Theis is my first lem,on fancfition so I welcoem your commenst.

PART I

Sakura groand as kero pumped his long fat **** into her. �Phweee??� she moaned as eva unit-1 crushed the celing in.

�baka, shinji, you baka� yelled askua. �why do you have to pilot like a baka?�.

�Perhaps you should not be so harsh� said rei.

�your right. I�m sorry, baka shinji� Said asuka. �come over here and **** me, baka hentai sugoi-kun�.

�umm� well� I�m not sure if that�s such a good idea� said shinji.

�why not, hentai-sama?� asked Asuka, here juices spiling down her legs.

�because my father might see the video tape.�

�what videotape?�

�the one that madison is taping� said tori avalon as he ****ed julien.

�I wonder what she does with those tapes� said juilen as he ****ed toris long **** rod, dripping with **** and pulsing like a **sh **4* **oe**ma.

TO BE CONTINUID.

Please e-mail me if you want me to keep on writing it

---

And that, I believe is the literary height of "lemon" fan fiction! At any rate it kicks the crap out of any of the other junk I've stumbled across.

Mysterious Disappearance of Sen and Chihiro

Well I suppose Spirited Away is an acceptable translation of the original title (Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi). It does have a certain ring to it. That's right, the ring of Hayao Miyazaki!!

Miyazaki-sama is the brainchild behind Tonari no Totoro or My Neighbour Totoro (1988), Majo no Takkyubin or Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) as well as Mononoke Hime or Princess Mononoke (1997). He's also behind a bunch of other stuff, but these are my favourites. Damn my cultured tastes!!!

At any rate, today I saw Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi for the first time (thanks Chichiri!!) and am soooooooo in awe of the creativity. All the way through I was thinking 'Through the Looking Glass', but it was completely different. Patrick, you are gonna be soooo jealous (he has the artbook but hasn't seen the moving pictures unfortunately ^_^ ). I really don;t want to give the story away but needless to say it unfurls with amazing animation, incredible cuteness in the characterisations and the divine touch that Miyazaki has when it comes to writing stories.

Unfortunately I did only get to see the film on NTSC tape (for being the most powerful nation in the world Americans sure do have a crappy media system!!), however Japanime 2002 approaches and while I cringe at the name, I am extremely happy to have the opportunity to see Kamikakushi direct of 35mm film with cinema sound! I've already seen the other offerings and while they are good, I don't really want to pay just to see them on the screen, but for this film....

The only problem is that now I have to come up with ticket money and that is in short supply!

The other thing I would like to point out is the amazing redesign of my blog that Serenity/Tigris/Shawn did!! I am a huge CCS fan and this is soooo great. Now, I need to go and stop writing like a 10 year old girl.

I Can't Stop Pouring Buckets of Sweat!

Out of all the places there are to play DDR in central Brisbane, current venue for the amazing world tour of my life, I would have to say that 'Topps' (the cinema level of the Myer Center) is the best. Except for one thing.

No fan.

Perhaps I should start by explaining just why 'Topps' is the best DDR gig in town. For starters, it's cheap. 'Timezone' is great because they have a groovy environment, lots of flashing games and instead of coinage they use swipe cards!!! Unfortunately they have a DDRMax2 7th Mix machine directly next to a 5th Mix machine. This makes for an interesting variety as one can change between machines at will and potentially experience four mixes simultaneously (two mixes worth of tracks on each machine). Unfortunately, having the machines in this close proximity means that when both machines are being used it becomes difficult to distinguish which machine your beat it is coming from.

If I may explain : while the arrows do tell you when to place your feet, the experienced DDR dancer uses the beat as the hit point, not the visual of the arrows hitting their guide. If you have two machines playing two different beats, however, this becomes a problem.

'Timezone' do indeed have a fan, and also reasonably priced bevarages. They are also the only DDR venue in central Brisbane to be located directly next to a food court, and for those who are so inclined are merely two floors below the only Games Workshop in Brisbane. Unfortunately with all these luxuries comes a price, and that price is $1.80 a game. Ouch.

The next best venue in central Brisbane is the 'Replay Family Entertainment Center'. This center has DDR for the saintly price of $1. They use an innovative system of tokens with bonus tokens for exchanging $5, $10 & $20 notes into said tokens. They also have a fan, and have a 7th Mix machine too. What makes it a less than ideal environment for DDR is that there are a number of other machines of varying types and the noise can sometimes drown out your own playing. It's all right first thing in the morning, though.

Now, the bext thing in DDR as far as central Brisbane is concerned is 'Topps'. They have $1 DDRMax2 7th Mix and their machine is not drowned out by other machines. The only problem is that there's no fan. After my fourth or fifth game I begin to get a little sweaty, so I appreciate the evaporation that a strategically placed fan can offer. I truly believe that the addition of a single self-oscillation pedestal fan would increase the 'Topps' DDR patronage at least twofold. Now that's not too much to ask is it? The amount of money that the Candy Boys have poured into that machine certainly warrants it.

I Want My Crossover Narnia-Evangelion Slash Fiction!!

Interesting. Apparently fanfiction.net is going to remove NC-17 (the Australian Equivalent of 'R') from their rating system and all stories that carry this rating will be deleted. The miscellaneous slash fiction writers have even started up an online petition whereby writers and readers can petition the admins on ff.net to complain.

Now being one who sees freedom of speech as a right not deserved by many people, I applaud the administrators of FanFiction.Net for this brave, idealogical stance. They claim that they are doing it because they don't want children accidentally logging onto it.

They could y'know.

They could fail to read the rating down the bottom that says 'Rating : NC-17'. They could also fail to notice the friggin' huge javascript pop-up that appears when you go to load one of these stories that says 'This story is rated NC-17. Are you over 18? Y/N'. Or they could just forget that they're not 18 and are actually pimpled-faced, 15 year old script kiddies who are so far from ever touching a girl that they are happy to read Rainbow Brite/Punky Brewster lesbian crossover bondage fan fiction.

Ewwwwwwww!!!

At any rate, whatever their reasons, any effort that attempts to cull the growing tide of Pokemon/DragonBallZ/SailorMoon slash porn stories multiplying on the net like randy, fanfic fueled rabbits is alright by me!

DDR vs D&D

As my friends would know (and even the people who aren't my friends but have to work with me or go to uni with me), I've recently gone rather strange and begun dancing. Not the kind of dancing that my grandparents do. Or would do, if they were the kind of grandparents that dance to wire-less. Not the kind of dancing that Brittany does (unlike her, I'm not a slut), or even the kind of daning cowboys do when their feet are being shot at.

I'm talking about the revolutionary dance-dancing of the Dance Dance Revolution machine-device.

The reason that it is strange for me to dance is because 'dancing' is a 'physical activity' and 'physical activity' is a technical term for 'excercise', and 'excercise' causes to smell. And be sweaty. Neither of which I like, but for some reason happily endure in order to worship at the neon altar that is Dance Dance Revolution.

I have sucked friends into this trend and they, in turn, have introduced more friends to the hypnotic blink of arrows and mesmerising thump of bite-sized Japanese techno. All of which makes for fun times and sore knees. Patrick (first of said 'friends' who now spends time rehearsing DDR moves on the pavers in the Queen Street Mall, that is when he's not being arrested for said practise of rehearsing DDR moves on the pavers in the Queen Street Mall) and I were discussing this on an e-mail list, when the following e-mail was e-mailed. This e-mail read :


So where do u play DDR? I miss DND! Then again, i don't need any other
distractions. And besides, im sure i'd suck at it cose its been ages since
i've played DND and i've forgotten the rules and stuff. And how much does
that suck having to PAY to play the game.


So how different is DDR?



Well, after reading this I posted a reply stating that DND (D&D) was actually a video game where you danced, as opposed to a board game where you worshipped Satan and went straight to immortal hell if you played it. Only joking about the Satan part though. The next day, however came the following idiots guide to DDR vs D&D from Patrick.


Here is a list of differences between DDR and DND, cause
I know how easy it can be to get the two confused...

DND: Played with pencils, paper and dice.

DDR: Played with feet.

DND: Owned by Wizards of the Coast.

DDR: Not owned by Wizards of the Coas. Yet.

DND: Drink of choice: Mountain Dew.

DDR: Drink of choice: Ecstasy, crack, what have you.

DND: Players frequently argue with gamemaster.

DDR: Players willingly submit to inanimate machine.

DND: Nerds pretend to be mighty warriors and heroes.

DDR: Nerds pretend to be able to dance.

DND: Costs hundreds of dollars in rulebooks and supplements.

DDR: Costs hundreds of dollars in tokens or home accessories.

DND: Soundtrack: Metallica, the Harry Potter soundtrack.

DDR: Cheesy, bite-sized Japanese dance-pop tunes.

DND: Players able to take toilet and meal breaks.

DDR: Players able to take toilet and meal breaks, but don't.

DND: Players gain weight.

DDR: Players lose weight, injure themselves, stink, etc.

DND: Stupid, pointlessly complicated rules.

DDR: Simple rules and challenging gameplay.

DND: Inspired hundreds of superior role-playing games.

DDR: Inspired a handful of inferior rip-offs.

DND: It's a pen-and-paper role-playing game.

DDR: It's an arcade game where you dance around to music.



I hope that clears up a bit of confusion about DDR and D&D for those of you still stuck in 1979.


Shoujo

Impending Loss of Jobness-ism

Well, that sure was a while between posts.

I've certainly been busy in the job I said I was starting in that first post. During the last 6 months the head of my department was sacked, I continued working as a casual in the department. Basically being the only guy in the whole store who knew about the products we sold for 4 months until last week, when a new department head was hired.

It's great. He's competent and knowledgable and great with customer service. Only problem is, my hours are being dropped down. Because I'm a casual they can do that because I'm not guaranteed work hours.

Bugger.

Anyway, I'm knuckling down for my final semester of university. 10 000 words of assignments due in, and I have to make a concerted effort to actually make sense so I can apply for honours.

Wheeeeee

Shoujo