Shoujo Complains About Girls Again

I'm in the middle of my research assignment, so I feel that I will expound a bit more regarding something I actually care about -- and something I don't have to have references to back up my ideas in either.

I realise that I don't really care that much anymore about this whole 'lack of a girlfriend' thing, because I haven't had much time to worry about it. But I was having a shower earlier and (as your mind does when you are being assaulted by thousands of needles of pressurized water) I was thinking about stuff. First of all I was thinking about my four hour rehearsal tommorrow night and how I would really rather be sleeping, but that I am looking forward to it because it will be interesting, and then I thought about clouds for a bit, then I thought about this girl I like at uni but she's in first year and I'm in third and I will be finishing at the end of the year and it's pointless, so I though about a friend of mine whom I haven't seen in a while and I was thinking that reason I haven't seen her online or anything is because she recently started dating this guy (which started a conundrum because I asked her out, but she told me she wasn't ready to date again for a long time, but within a month she's going out with this guy, which kinda made me feel like, "Oh okay, it's alright to date guys, just not if that guy is me," which started me on a downward spiral to self-pity and feeling like....

Harrumph.

Err... where was I?

Oh yeah....

So I was thinking about this whole girls and friends thing and how girls seem to never think of me as boyfriend material, etc and I was thinking about how it's more doubly annoying when they get boyfriends that aren't me. I mean, obviously they aren't me, because if they were then I wouldn't be pining about crap on the net.

What does annoy me is that because I'm a guy, our "platonic friends" relationship suffers a seachange, because she can't be seen to be having anything other than a superficial "girl-guy friends" relationship with me as she is now going out with someone else. Now, this has happened a few times, but what really annoys me is that these are the only real "guy-girl" relationships I have where I can relate to someone of the opposite sex on a deeper level than, "Did you see the new 'Austin Powers' movie?" and because they are now going out with someone, the relationship has to stop. I'm not talking about time constraints either, I'm just talking about quality of conversation.

It's like I can't talk to them like that anymore because it would be inappropriate or something, but if it's an emotional relationship not based on sex then what's inappropriate about that? I do understand that if I had a girlfriend (in my wildest dreams ^_^) I probably would want her talking to me about things rather than some other guy, but still.

And the act of cutting off the emotional connection via conversation and stuff is almost like a break-up, because I can't talk to them how I used to because if I try they brush or laugh it off. Very confusing.

This does however force me to wonder if I am a convenient vessel for girls to talk to without having to make a real committment to or something.

Any comments members of the opposite sex are welcome (click on the 'comment's below) and Patrick, this is not a pick-up attempt, but an exposition of thoughts, so if you have nothing constructive to say, write it on your own page.