Computer Fixin's

If you don't like listening to computer geekery, then don't read any further. Go do something else... Go here instead.

Right. Major system problems with my sister's computer. You see, after Optusnet (my ISP) decided to cap their cable internet downloads, they decided to go and screw with their dial-up plans as well. Consequently, my nice 300 hours a month for $30 ended up being truncated to 120 hours a month for $24.95. Arse. So I didn't care much, because I still had all these excess hours left over because I NEVER used 300 hours a month of my internet and the remainders were rolled over. Unfortunately, the last internet bill came in and I used 200 hours, and it has cost me $400!!!

I find this to be stark bat-shit raving insane, being that it's like, 7 times my internet bill normally for 1.6 times the use. Anyway, OptusNet are being a bunch of arseholes about it, despite the fact that the dopey bint in their call centre told me I would be notified when my internet use reached the end of the supplied hours (which didn't happen!) it's all my fault. So we've decided to change ISPs.

Seeing as all my hours are used up, and I get charged $2 per hour extra, I asked my sister if I could use her internet account to look up some alternatives. Her computer was already on, but was still stuck in the boot sequence spouting some crap about missing some file or whatever.

Her machine is an IBM NetVista which we bought for her when she started uni. It's a basic PIII 800 with a 17" monitor, scanner and printer, running WindowsME. Now, my machine is a Mac, and it's not as though I don't like PCs. In fact, I believe that the Wintel system proves that people will buy anything.

People accept that Windows makes a computer shit itself and requires a new installation periodically. I can't understand it. Would people buy a car that required the engine to be replaced every 20 000km? I don't think so, yet people put up with this in software. Bah.

Anyway, I load up the supplied IBM rescue disk and run some diagnostics. The hardware is fine, but the software is arse up. Not a problem. The disk supplies you with a software fix. You either format the hard-drive and re-install WindowsME with the supplied software, or format the hard-drive and re-install WindowsME WITHOUT the supplied software. Choices, choices.

Must back-up some documents, ne? No burner because the drivers and software only work in Windows. I still have around 60 floppy disks because of my old 486 and my 1989 Mac SE/30, so I'll use those. Well after I work out why A: drive don't work (rescue disk makes virtual RAM disk and maps it to A:, so physical floppy is not B:), I move all the files required to be saved into a directory aptly titled C:\ZIPME.

All of this is taking place in DOS, btw and I STILL REMEMBER IT ALL!!. Thank God I was geek even back then!!

Right, so then I start looking through this folder deleting unneeded junk. Of course, this version of DOS don't support long file names, so I'm getting RSI in one finger from hitting tilde (~) all the time. A few of the files are quite large, so I need to compress them. What to use? PKZIP!!!

That's WinZip, much uglier interface, yet still easier to use, kiddies.

Anyhoo, I'm racking my brain trying to work out how to get a copy of it, becaue they don't let you download a shareware version anymore - they charge you for it now. Then I remember... THE OLD 486!! w00t!

So I grab a desk and slap PKZIP onto this disk, bring it up and start compressing this crap and splitting it across disks.

PERSONAL NOTE OF PRIDE : I still remembered all the right switches for optimum compression, multiple disk spanning and error checking.

Anyway, finished that, then wiped the machine and re-installed WindowsME and all the associated drivers required to run the printer and scanner. Decompress all the archived stuff and she's apples. Except for the filenames, they're still full of ~s.

That's old school.

By digging into my archaic knowledge of superseded software and old crap, I was able to restore a machine to pristine condition. I feel happy. I'd be happier if people paid me, though.

I still like Macs better though.

And I've found a good alternative with Pacific.Net interweb dial-in network servicing providerism.

The Show Must Go On

Well I had the opening night of The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe happened last night. Fun.

Panic, Tigris and I went out to dinner first, then rocked up to the theatre, then bumped into Marty & Mon (friends of mine from church and SMADD and Arts Weekend) and that was cool. We shuffled in, sat down. Ended up sitting next to Justine & Andrew (more friends) and watched the show. Twas cool.

Interval time came and we chatted with people. Luke & Nerida Jaaniste (who I know from all over the place - everytime I go to an artistic event and they're there!) as well as other peoples. Back in for the second act.

All was good. Crowd like it, twas superb.

Now, onto my next projects!

House Party

Well, I got back from rehearsals yesterday and headed off to a house warming party at my friend Karlee's new place (she goes to uni with me).

Anyways, I was pretty drained from rehearsals, even though I was merely observing, however the show is seriously good. I watched it twice fully through and still wasn't sick of it. I've probably seen it about 15 times now and still enjoy it, not only because the music (which I wrote), but also purely because I am enjoying the skill and talent of the actors.

Anyway, housewarming. Fun. I ran into a few people I hadn't seen for a while, whom I never expected to see, but did. And it was cool. Had a few drinks, had a chat, accompanied some slightly un-sober friends from uni for a short trip to Subway then returned to the party for more chatting and talking.

Now am back in job application mode. A few positions have come up that I am qualified for, so I shall be applying.

I do find it rather annoying that out of the weekends that I buy the paper, often a month will go by with nothing suitable for me, then *BANG* 6 jobs that I have to scramble to write letters, send off resumes, etc. And then maybe one in three of these scrambling periods I shall get a call saying, "We'd like you to come in," while the rest of the time you don't even get a, "Thankyou for your application. Unfortunately at this time...blah blah blah..."

Lovely.

Tired but happy

The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe is looking great. I am very happy with the music now. Not as happy as I could be, but happy enough. Now I must sit and wait for the groupies to flock.

Mood : A little bit weird. I had an SMS conversation with *MG* or "Meg" as Panic has christened her, which I had translated by my good friend AngelDancer translated and basically her feelings towards me come down to something along the lines of either, "Not sure how to pursue the feelings I have - I must first decide whether I want this or not" or "I just want to see if I have any better options."

Both Tigris and AngelDancer gave me a digital bitchslap for postulating the last one, however Angel (who has known Meg for four years) says that that may be the case.

In case point I have decided to just wait it out. She knows how I feel and it's up to her to do something. Although, if I were her (which I'm obviously not, because that would just be plain weird!!!) I would suggest exploring your feelings by trying to go out with that slightly weird, crazy guy known as Bill, because he's not as bad as he comes across as sometimes and he really does have feelings for you.

But I'm not her (as I said) and I know she doesn't read this blog so that was a rather pointless paragraph, but it's 1.36am and I got nothing else better to do.

ITEM : Funny things from LWW rehearsals - 1) The statues were unable to get the two trucks (bases on wheels) that form Mr Tumnus' house together in time during the scene change, thus leaving them a few inches apart, seemingly creating a rift in the floor of his cave. Jason said (in character), "Darn those tectonic plates! They're always changing on me!".

2) Upon seeing the shelves filled with weapons for the fight scene I exclaimed, "Ahh! What an armoury," which then prompted someone to remark upon the need for a leggory. I wittily replied, "But that's what the show is. Allegory!".

Well, say it out load. It's a lot better when you hear it spoken.

Now, sleep.

The Eligibility To Date Bill Purity Test

Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".


The "submit" button is at the bottom.

1. Are you male?


2. Do you think that a professional musician is a hopeless cause with no economic stabililty?


3. Are you offended by the pinkness of this 'blog?


4. Are you unaware of who the anime character on the front is?


5. Are you unaware of what 'anime' is?


6. Are you unaware of what 'front' is?


7. Do you prefer skinny, arty types who wear obscure t-shirts as the badge of their artistic identity?


8. Do you prefer 'experienced' guys? (If you don't know, don't answer)


9. Do you prefer 'experienced' girls? (If you don't know, don't answer)


10. Do you think that dating provides an unrealistic environment within which to evaluate a possible life partner?


11. I have uni committments that mean I can't see you for a week : Do you dump me?


12. Because you're a bitter self-centered hag...


13. Who only liked me because I was foolishly head-over-heels for you and worshipped the ground you walked on?


14. Do you believe true love can't wait?


15. Would you prefer Helgas? (If you don't know, don't answer)


16. Do you understand the meaning of "I'm Sorry"?


17. Do you take it to mean, "Please bring this incident up at every opportunity to begin a guilt trip to the moon?"


18. Are you "MysteryGirl"?


19. Do you smoke?


20. Would you reject someone based upon their economic and housing status? (No job, lives with parents)

How datable would Bill find you? Submit and find out!

Working Like The Blazes

And that's because I have been. Working that is.

We had another rehearsal today for LWW today. It's coming along extremely well. And you can read a comment by the director of LWW along with comments about my other projects and stuff on my official work website.

Wow. What a segue. I should work in the internation segue market or something. I'm that good.

In other news, Sean Biggerstaff (otherwise known as Oliver Wood from the Harry Potter movies) will not be appearing in Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban. Well, not in the film version anyway.

Can you imagine having a name like Biggerstaff? Kids could pay you out.

"Hey, Biggerstaff!! Uhh...mmm...errr...your staff is...bigger... or something"

Thankyou, yes it is.

Unsolicited testimonials are so nice.

Props to all my crew, y'all

Just want to say thankyou to Panic and Tigris (and to a lesser extent Subshade - nice try, but no dice) for telling me to get my act together. I've been freaking about the music for The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, and my deadline is hitting really close. I also had uni starting back up, less than three hours sleep a night and generally just crashed.

I know that I have real friends and things and that life isn't as good as it should be (not on earth anyway, but that whole eternity with God thing is a real bonus to look forward to), but sometimes I get bogged down in crap and just lose it.

I did contemplate deleting the crap below, however I decided to leave it there for posterity. Needless to say, if I write much more like my last two entries I believe I shall have to switch to a LiveJournal.

What I have said, though, does still have some meaning (although not as extreme as it appears). I do think that some of my personality traits are coping mechanisms from dealing with a harshly critical environment in high school, and I do believe that some people find my seemingly constant cynicism a bit of a turn off. I am making an effort to not be so openly cynical and to attempt to have some faith in people, but we'll have to wait and see what eventuates from that.

One other thing that Subshade said while I was venting profusely on #bas on Austnet the other day was, "Why do you keep falling for the same kind of girls?"

Well, I don't know but it strikes me as a bit funny to fall for someone you're not attracted to, whether the attraction be physical or emotional. I mean, I'm obviously attracted to a certain kind of girl, so when I fall for a girl she's obviously going to fit that profile. I mean, why would I get all stupid and emotional over a girl I wasn't attracted to? But that's the wisdom of a 16yo irc 'grrrrrrl' for you.

It's Not Personal

When you do a drama course, or any kind of performing arts study, the main piece of advice people give you is, "If you get rejected, that doesn't mean that they don't like you personally, it just means that you're not what they're looking for."

Of course, if you're an actor then of course it would pretty easy to take rejection personally. I mean, when you act, you're screwing with your own psyche in order to protray a certain character. You're literally putting yourself on the line, however if they don't like what you do, then it's not a personal thing. It just means that you didn't do what they liked and consequently someone who did got the gig.

A trap comes when you define yourself by what you do. If you define yourself as an actor, as one who acts and that is who you are, not just what you do, then if your acting gets rejected you take it pretty personally.

Anyway, that's a good way to learn how to handle professional rejection. Simply consider that you did not provide what they were looking for at that time. That information is all completely useless bullshit when it comes to personal relationships.

In that case you are actually representing yourself and if you get rejected, how else are you supposed to take it?

"Don't take it personally, but you're just not what I'm looking for in a boyfriend/girlfriend right now. The position has not yet been filled, however previous applicants need not apply."

Self Defeating Prophecy

...once an expectation is set, even if it isn't accurate, we tend to act in ways that are consistent with that expectation. Suprisingly often, the result is that the expectation, as if by magic, comes true.
Self Fulfilling Prophecy or The Pigmalion Effect

Someone made the comment tonight at rehearsal for the show that I constantly put myself down, or that I constantly discount myself. Certainly my friends are sick of hearing me bitch about how I've got nothing going for me, so why should I expect to find some girl who'd want to go out with me. Indeed, this kind of attitude is actually hard to shake off when I attempt to conciously do so, which has lead me to wonder why I started doing it in the first place.

For that I'd like to thank my fellow students at high school. Thanks for screwing me up in the head by your constant barrage of put-downs, insults, jabs at my interests, questionings of my sexuality, pot-shots at my looks and general all around not-very-nice-ness.

Now of course, most people will claim to have put up with some emotional abuse at high school (which is to be expected. Teenagers are not known for their subtlety when it comes to dealing with the feelings of others.), however it does appear disturbing to me to find that in my 21st year, I am still using the same defense mechanisms I developed in high school.

These run something along the lines of "If you treat yourself like crap, then what else is there left for the others to so?" and "Expect the worst, so that when it does happen, you haven't wasted any energy on hoping for the best, but if by some miraculous miracle the worst doesn't eventuate, the outcome will be a pleasant surprise".

It's nice to know that during the supposed formative years of your independent personality, you can end up so screwed from trying to deal with the arseholes you only have to see for 5 years of your remaining 60 (providing you don't smoke, get HIV or visit Iraq anytime soon) that it ruins the rest of your life.

Wouldn't it be nice if someone would open up a consulting business where they could independently evaluate your social behaviours, etc so that you can tell exactly how badly you are scarred from school and then could take steps to correct the imbalances that remain.

My problem is that most of the people I know think that I'm a cynical, embittered prick who always looks for the cloud that's devouring the silver lining, and quite rightly, they don't want to get to know me personally that well. It's a very unattractive personality trait. However if they would care to look or think they might consider the catalyst that turns a normal person into that cynical naughty man.

And in true pessimistic blogging fashion (however I'm pretty sure of it this time), nobody will.

Wouldn't it be nice if I could drop that facade? Well, I've been out of high school for four years and in that time I've done it twice.

Both times I've been screwed again, but the other party has benefited. It's a shame I'm not that bent and twisted, because if I was I could just go out, fuck somebody else over and gain my satisfaction that way. I won't though.

Why?

Because I've been the one getting the shaft enough that I don't ever want to be the reason for someone else to turn out like me.

The most disturbing thing was when I was having a D&M (deep and meaningful) with a guy friend of mine about some stuff and he said, "Yeah right. Like you're the kind of person to cry yourself to sleep at night."

Goes to show how well rendered the facade is.