Oh the pain-ness-ism
Well I am bruised, battered, stiff-jointed and sore-lower-backered.
Indeed, I have just returned from the first inaugural virgin premiere of GENTS camp. See, I have this theory - women are pure distilled chaos. You take all the craziness in the universe, which of course must be slightly more than the good stuff and non-chaosness, because if they were both equal then the universe would be stagnant and boring, like the latest Hillsong book, or all niceness and cuddles, like me.
Anyways (And I'm rambling because my coffee is too hot to drink so I'm not caffienated yet), women are the vessels for all chaos. Because there are slightly more women then men, this works out to be a plausible thing of stuff that is the thing.
GENTS camp was reasonable women free, except that there was a large church camp happening on the other campsite at Luther Heights (we were in the lower one, oh SplashOut devotees). The problem was that certain 13 year old hormone-addled losers decided that they would try to pick up these girls who were on this camp. So, when our camp was on the oval and the other camp was using the tennis courts (which were right next to the oval) these boys were attached to the netting "chatting up the hotties" as I heard it described.
Not that any of us were worried, because any Christian father that saw the mere quality of these boys would have burned them to ash with laser beams of fatherly protection emitted from their paternal eyes. But it was more the complete lack of any clue these guys seemed to have. I mean, if you want to attract a girl, I would have thought whipping a leader across the face with an inner tube you found lying around would be something that you WOULDN'T do right in front of the object of your advances.
And for the record, I'm not the leader who received the whippage.
In a similar vein, displaying your colorful grasp of obscenities, but complete lack of the rest of the English language at the top of your lungs wouldn't be a good idea either.
Anyways, it was a good camp and God made 4 newbie Christians out of the motley crew, so it was all good.
Until the evil water slides at Olympia decided to re-array our spinal vertabrae.
Now, onto another similar topic. Here is a section of a news post from
Penny Arcade :
I need to let you in on some of this Bible Camp action. They're like
pretty much every other summer camp, except they have a special guest
- Christ Jesus! Certainly the activities were Christ Centered, even
soccer, but in practice what it does is add even more drama to a
demographic with no shortage of it to begin with. Now, instead of you
meeting a girl and it just being regular-old, run-of-the-mill destiny,
now a divine hand was at play, the architect of being had invented
this union. Everything takes place in a religious context at these
things, and so it seemed plain to me that Jesus wanted me to spend a
lot of time with girls. I was happy for the help, because let me tell
you I had already exhausted the supply at my own church.
Now, I find this amusing. Mainly because it's funny, and secondly because it's probably true for some of these camper relationships that occur. Read the rest of the article to see the results of the "Chastity Dance" and the other amusement.
