2 Days After The Day After Tomorrow. Which Was Two Days Ago.

Found this review. I like it.

The Round Up

So we went and saw "Day After Tomorrow" with the expectation of poorness. We were not disappointed. "Titanic" on land or "Independence Day" with the weather - that's a choice I leave up to you.

The "We" I'm referring to their was another First Date(tm) brought to you by Bill's foolish hope. It went well enough. We saw a movie, went up to Mt Cootha for coffee afterwards, I dropped her home. Now we shall see what hath been wrought...

I just feel so abnormally normal about the whole thing. It was nice, I think we both had a nice time, but it'll depend on her whether we go out again. When the trailers came on she did mention that SpiderMan 2 looked like a good movie to see. Subtle hint for Second Date(r)(tm)? In an ideal world with relational physics dictated by "10 Things I Hate About You", Harry-Ginny fanfiction and those movies where the guys friends are totally looking out for him when it comes to the ladies it would be.

In this hollow, ash-filled existence of hate, loneliness and despair it most likely means that SpiderMan 2 looked like a good movie to see.

Recorded strings today for "Beagle Bones". Now to spend all of tomorrow editing them to sound slick. So much post production. Next time I'm just gonna kill Salman Rushdie, collect the US$333 000 that student group from Tehran University is offering for his head and hire the London Symphony Orchestra.

Nice

I had a nice weekend. My folks and my sister went up for her engagement party in Rockhampton (her fiancé is from there) and I did assignments and watched movies, then had BAS last night. After that Kinoko, Tigris and Panic came back here and we watched DVDs and talked crap till the early hours.

That was nice.

I'm interested in someone at the moment. She's very sweet, pretty, funny, we have stuff in common and we're going out on Friday night. I'm just kind of hoping that it goes well and she wants to do it again. According to a faithful trusted party, she thinks I'm quite depressed/ing. Well if she's been reading my blog I could understand that. But it's not really the case.

Apparently I come through as all depressed and morose through this thing. I'm not really like that at all. I just find it carthatic to vent in text, particularly where I know my friends can read it and either tell me to wake up to myself, or at least gain some insight into why I climbed the tower with the gun.

I was in the car with Simon tonight and we were having a little D&M as you do when driving along and I brought up the fact that this girl thinks I'm depressed/ing and how I thought that was a little misjudged. Simon said not so much depressed as bitter and cynical. I think bitterness is an unhealthy amount of cynicism but I also think that cynicism is healthy. At least to a point.

My problem seems to be that I barely balance the scales on healthy cynicism and frequently dip into the unhealthy part. I think it's a defense mechanism that runs something along the lines of "keep people away and they can't hurt you" but what happens when you do want to get close to someone? You let the cynicism down and once you get hurt the wall goes up again, but thicker and deeper.

I am making such an effort not to do that lately, but I don't know if it's having any positive effect or repercussions. I wish I could get an informed opinion from a third person observer or something. Maybe "emotional surveyors" are listed in the Yellow Pages...

Meme Again!!!

JUNE:
1. Thinks far with vision. I'll accept that.

2. Easily influenced by kindness. I'm a sucker for love

3. Polite and soft-spoken. EEEHHHHH. WRONG WRONG!!!

4. Having lots of ideas. True. Not all appropriate for a family audience, but true.

5. Sensitive. But nobody wants to stick around and find out how sensitive.

6. Active mind. See 1 and 4.

7. Hesitating, tends to delay. I could NOT be single. I just have standards.

8. Choosy and always wants the best. Standards, I tell you.

9. Temperamental. Shut up. Go away. Aww, I love you. YOU BUMHOLE!!!

10. Funny and humorous. Apparently.

11. Loves to joke. But am I Funny anf humorous...

12. Good debating skills. Are not. Are so. Are not. Are so. Are not TIMES INFINITY!!!

13. Talkative. See, how can I be number 3 and number 13?

14. Daydreamer. Would explain why I failed Chemistry in high school.

15. Friendly. Or lonely... like a poor abused puppy.

16. Knows how to make friends. Have big tits and put out lots. Well I got the first part right.

17. Abiding. Huh?

18, Able What? As opposed to disabled?

19. to show character. Oh. Right. Nope. Not able to show true character. Emotional issues. But I am trustworthy and loyal, if it means the other character.

20. Easily hurt. Probably due to my over-trusting nature of cute girls, who then turn out to be evil psychopaths who have just broken up with their boyfriends, failed to tell me about it and decide to rip out my heart in shit in the bleeding cavity.

21. Prone to getting colds. Thanks for the sinus condition Dad. No, really. I like having no sense of smell for a third of the year.

22. Loves to dress up. I love the nightlife, I love the boogie. And I own a number of suits and such.

23. Easily bored. Look at the kitty!!!

24. Fussy. I prefer the term "discriminating".
25. Seldom shows emotions. Except on my blog. How cathartic.

26. Takes time to recover when hurt. First time took 2 years. Last hurting occurred in December. I'm taking bets now via PayPal.

27. Brand conscious. I'm concious that "Microsoft" = "Shit".

28. Executive. Well my car is an Executive...

29. Stubborn. Not really

_________________________________


What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Soreness

Well yesterday I conducted a makeshift orchestra for "Beagle Bones". My shoulder is hurting like buggery. I feel like I was playing tennis all afternoon. It sounds pretty damn good too.

Congratulations to Ray and Rachel. Apparently the rock is big. Well that's according to Kathryn who got it from Mel. I need to finish my Apple Design Awards project and then go check out whether my tax refund will be better spent at russianwomen.com or belarusebrides.net.

Not Asking Much...

Oh the painful pain.

So I'm trying to get musicians to play this film score of mine for Beagle Bones & The Temple of The Maya. It's a pain in the arse. I'm a student with no budget, but I'm surrounded by musicans at uni. I go to the fucking CONSERVATORIUM of Music for fuck's sake! But! Can I get any string players? No fucking way.

The problem is that this is for my project study this semester which is only %50 of my mark. And do you think I could get any string players to play? No!!!! Brass was up for it, percussion was up for it...

Next piece I write is gonna be for percussion. At least they give a fuck.

Apparently they all want to play solo. Well news for them. You play a pussy little violin that need to be surrounded by 10 others in order to be heard!!!!!

If anyone knows any string players that aren't too precious or busy (and I accept that some of them would prefer paid work over this, if it's available), please contact me!!!

Here are the details :

I need 10 violin players, 3 violists, 3 cellists, 2 double bassists for
a recording session this Sunday from 12 - 4 at the Queensland
Conservatorium (Southbank, opposite QPAC).

In return for their services, they'll get food, their name in the
credits, a copy of the finished film on DVD or VHS and the opportunity
to play in a professional recording setting.

The music is not overly difficult, although sight reading ability is
important. I'd say AMEB grade 4 to 6 level.

Please forward this on to any players you know.

Also, I apologise for the swearing. I'm very stressed and pissed at the moment. Not a good combination.

Snorrrrrreee....

Completely irrational depression clouds me at the moment. I got an assignment back. 81.5% which I think is a credit, although I may be wrong. Had a good weekend away with Arts Weekend. Played a good gig on Saturday night.

But still feel depressed. Trying on different feelings to see what clicks and may be a good reason for depression

Singleness with no prospects anywhere in sight : feeling of hopelessness no greater than usual.
Lack of regular employment and seriously minimal fundses : nup. Not them either.
Feelings of alienation and futility : maybe, but I haven't started listening to Radiohead yet, so it's not that either.

I don't know. Been having bizzarre dreams lately focused around the idea that if I could go back in time with what I know now about how people in general think and myself, perhaps I wouldn't be so fucked up. I would tell certain people to go jump, I'd pay attention to other people more and I wouldn't have said or done certain things that would give them incorrect perceptions of me.

I feel like I'm expected to be this person sometimes and I don't want to. Like I'm expected to be all responsible and mature and stuff and not stoop to adolescent antics. I never had adolescent antics. I had "Look at those retarded fools. Like I'd be caught dead doing that," which now appears as, "I wish I had {insert thing here} when I was younger. Then it would have been written of as retarded adolescent fooling."

Right at this moment I regret having had ignored all the girls at my school (even the nice, not slutty ones - all three of them) on the basis that high school relationships are a useless waste of time spent on study, and besides neither of you is mature to carry on a relationship anyway (no car, no money, etc).

I regret having written certain people off as colorless when they were perhaps the most principled and focused people there.

I regret not really experiencing my adolescence by closing my eyes and hoping it finished as soon as possible.

I'm pretty sure this makes me a complete weirdo, but I can't help but think if I had done things differently, would I not be so unable to do seemingly normal everyday functional things that 95% of the world seems to be able to do like gain employment, have a relationship, not have internal psyche core melt-downs every three working hours.

I mean, right now I question what value I bring to anything, anywhere being that it seems I don't mean much to anybody personally, nobody values my creative art (well at least not enough to pay me for it), nobody seems to value me personally enought to care about the cracks appearing.

I now realise why it's so hard for me to get up in the mornings : sleep offers a nice escapism from the reality that is, "Wake up. Now expend your emotional and physical energy, get reamed in return. Rinse and repeat ad nauseum."